1. Do Yoga…
…if you want to do yoga. If you don’t, then you shouldn’t. There is nothing worse than doing a yoga class when yoga is the last thing you want to be doing. In fact that is the perfect way to NOT be a happier person.
But if yoga is something you want to do then it is likely to make you happy to go to a class. And it is well known that yoga makes you fart, which could make you happy.
A happy little farty bendy person.
Unless you do it loudly in the middle of class. That’s not going to make you happy, that’s going to give you a redder face than the one you already have from hanging upside down for forty minutes.
So to be happy do yoga, if you want to. If you don’t want to, then don’t.
2. Talk to someone…
…being a recluse never made anyone happy. Apart from maybe Harper Lee, and she is one of the most influential women in literature. And they do say silence is golden.
So possibly not talking to anyone is the way to go. If all you have to say are complaints in a moany, self-pity whine, then you are just going to make everyone else unhappy by voicing your woes over poking yourself in the eye with your mascara that morning.
Maybe you should zip it and let everyone else be happy, it’s for the best.
3. Go for a walk…
…even if you live on a motorway and the only place to go is the garage fifty metres down the dangerous six lane road.
Think of the adrenaline buzz you’ll get as you are nearly run over every five seconds! There’s nothing like adrenaline to keep you a happy human being.
Even if it is raining so heavily it makes your eyelashes droop down into your eyes, causing you to bump into lamp posts.
Keep walking lazy sod, it is the only way to happiness! Or if watching Friends makes you happy then do that instead, especially if it’s raining.
4. Listen to some music…
…and dance around, especially at bus stops. Remember that woman who was filmed dancing at a bus stop? She became a youtube sensation and then got a job on broadway.
That could be you!
Think about how happy you would be if you were that bus stop dancing lady. She is happiness, follow her, dance-follow her conga line style.
5. Don’t let other people tell you what to do…
…if someone says they know how to make you happy, whether it is a pervy man in a nightclub or a self-righteous person on the internet who posts entries titled ‘5 ways to be happier person’, don’t listen to them!
Only you know how to make yourself happy, and it probably simply involves a sandwich.