Anastacia Pays my Birthday Dues

If you are ever in need of a pick-me-up, I encourage you to walk somewhere dramatically (wind blowing through your hair preferably) while listening to Anastacia’s song Paid My Dues. I was walking to work the other morning when it came on shuffle and I had to suppress the urge to high-kick the air Sporty Spice style and shout “this is about me!” Except I never got punched in the face in LA, sorry that happened to you Anastasia, ouchies.

I’ve been doing lots of juggling recently, with my Masters coming to an end plus a full time job and writing things on the side, and it’s making me so tired I keep falling asleep on the couch mid-sentence at 8pm every night.

“And then I suddenly realised…zzzzz”

But my Masters will be over in a couple of weeks and I will have so much time I won’t know what to do with myself. I’ll have to take up some mad hobby like Urban-Hurdles (let the city be your assault course) or Pedestrian Tipping (who tips cows anymore?) that I can fill my Instagram feed with.

And in the middle of all this busyness it’s my birthday! Which is probably a good thing cause whenever I am not busy I instantly feel like my life is falling apart, hence the constant panic to find new hobbies.

I know I am in my twenties and still relatively young to say this kind of thing but- I am really enjoying getting older! It seems that with every year I get happier, not just with my life but with myself. When I think back to my early twenties I feel so much pity for that poor lost girl. I had no idea what I wanted and drank as much alcohol as possible to fill the cracks that indecision and confusion created.

I mean I had loads of fun, ridiculous amounts of fun (this is the part of this nostalgic blog post where I stop typing, look out the window of Starbucks and quietly laugh to myself as I shake my head. I hope you were walking past to witness it), but there was always something missing.

And now as I turn 27 I can happily say that I don’t feel like anything is really missing.

The other day in work I was talking about how I like getting older, and suggested jokingly that I should hold a ‘Postivie Ageing’ seminar when one of the girls mentioned that the reason she doesn’t like getting older is that she hasn’t achieved enough.

“Well in that case you need to change your goals, adapt your plans, adjust your perspective!” I said, making wild hand gestures and attempting to draw an inspirational bar-chart on the back of my hand.

Sometimes I am really insufferable.

But I understand what she was saying. Yes, I think if the 21 year old ‘me’ said what they wanted to be doing at 27 it would be miles away from what it actually is. I think I thought I’d be paid to write more by now, and still doing stand-up comedy. Even the fact I’m vegan would be a shock to my younger self, who was rarely seen without a chicken burger in-hand.

But I’ve changed what I need in my daily life to make me happy, and I’ve adapted my idea of what is success and what is failure. I’ve started to learn to not be so hard on myself, to celebrate when I work really hard and not beat myself up when I don’t work so hard.

I think I’ve learned loads in the past year, and I’m looking forward to the new lessons this age has to offer. And who knows what could happen…

“27 Year Old Invents New Craze Sport- Urban-Hurdles.”

or more likely-

“27 Year Old Goes to Library to Write Something Important, Sits in Corner for Three Hours Reading Danielle Steel.”

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